In the book, Yes, Your Teen is Crazy!, by Michael J. Bradley, he speaks to you, the parent. He states,
"Your goal is not to create perfect adolescent behaviour. This is not possible, anyway. Your goal is to build unprecendented parenting skills so you can respond with discipline, strength, and love to your kid's imperfect behaviors in order to inoculate her against the greater insanities awaiting her in the world".
Wow! What great advice. One thing Bradley talks about is letting the kids color their hair, and wear crazy clothes, because it's a phase, and they need to go through this to find their self-identity. They have to try things to see if they feel right or not. He talks about the importance of apologizing and what can be taught and learned from saying, "I'm sorry". Apologizing to your teen teaches lessons about respect, humility, honesty, courage, and self-discovery. Model, teach and heal by saying "Sorry" when you screw-up. His lessons about trust hit home. Foundations of trust need to be fostered, and the author points out that you, as the parent, has to walk the talk.
Welcome to the wonderful world of grown-up looking, grown-up sounding, brain-dysfunctioned children on their way to adulthood. Like the author says, like diapers, this smelly phase will end and what you'll have in the end is a well-adjusted young adult who looks at you and wonders why you aged so much in the last five years.
Check out the website noted in the link above for the first two chapters of Bradley's book. You'll be amazed.
Have a wonderful, crazy day!
~Angela
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